Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Web My Eyes!!!




In a moment of foolish curiosity I went to see Amazing Spider-Man, despite the staid warnings of many. It was horrible! It was the worst abomination of a film, not just a comic film, that I've ever seen. It was like Green Lantern or FF 2 bad!


My god, I just finished reading the entirety of The Boys and then to go into this poorly dialogued, horribly rushed cheeseball of a movie was like getting kicked in the taint whilst at full mast.

The thing was, I wasn't even comparing it to superhero films past or the trilogy that preceded it. I was just comparing it to teen television and film since that was clearly the intended audience. In that regard it was a total failure. You don't have shows like Buffy or even Smallville having been made to clearly pave the way to show aspects of adolescence mixed in with the fantastic and then spend millions making a vacuous and cornball film like that. You don't assume moviegoers are going to swallow this as the next "great franchise" when we've already had stuff like Harry Potter.

The actors seemed to be laboring under the weight of the bad script and I can't believe they even signed on to do it in the first place. To their credit they seemed to wring a few moments from it, but they probably totaled about 2 minutes of the whole movie. I strongly doubt the writers had ever met an actual teenager and the Queens that somehow included Coney Island made the film feel amateurish and borderline absurd.

Unoriginal, unimaginative and ultimately unnecessary. A sane world would not allow a sequel, but then we did get 2 GI Joes...

2 comments:

blackhart707 said...

sounds like another comic book geek who happens to actually live in new York. unlike most moviegoers, you go looking for gold every time you purchase a matinee ticket. you need to critique museums and let the common man enjoy his special effect heavy movies. while you may have some validity in your statement, it matters to no one. as the box office proves and sequels to gi Joe and other quality comics continue to be made. your lone voice on the soapbox will go as far as a watchtower magazine in the Vatican. in closing... TIW

blackhart707 said...

well, sometimes humble pie is prudent. I recently found myself wondering just how I had come to be in an utter state of disappointment. it wasn't because I had a shit day at work, or because of the typical family drama, no... it was all because I allowed myself to believe the hype, the critics and a strong idiotic voice of the general public. ASM was a movie that proved if you have good special effects a B-level script can be made into a summer blockbuster. So while this Blogger's op-ed may be a little pretentious, its certainly not wrong and as such I apologize for my earlier comments. with that I bid you adieu as I have a nice slice of humble pie awaiting me at home.